This morning I came across an article about Nelson Mandela’s family fighting over virtually everything. It is a sad story and ironically funny at the same time. I do not smile at any ones “life drama” but of course Nelson Mandela is no longer in the mortal coil so it is not his drama. It is his family’s drama.
Do you have a family drama? Do you have a family?
In my mind there are two types of family. The kind you are handed at birth and the kind that you create.
The first one was given to you by God because She/He/IT wanted you to learn the important skills for a happy life. –patience, generosity, spending time with people who have nothing in common with you but for the same great, great, grandfather and grandmother who got on a boat either voluntarily (or otherwise) back in Poland or Ireland, or Nigeria back in 1782.
So here you are fighting over a Turkey’s ass with your sister or brother!
The second type of family is the one you create. The extraordinary friends, partners, husbands, wives, ex-husbands, ex-wives, children, peers, associates, lover’s, ex-lover’s and all your “Friends” on Facebook (distant and close).
These are all a reflection of who you have been, who you have become and what you will evolve to be. If you are a kind and compassionate person and have had a sense of clarity and vision you may be able to talk to people in this “family” you have created about things you have shared in the past.
There is are few things sweeter than talking about the old days on the phone with your recently divorced, ex-soul-mate, who left you for his or her gay lover and then decided ten years later that they weren’t gay.
Hey, as Ram Das says “It’s all grist for the mill”.
If you can transcend your emotional baggage and penchant for drama it can be a truly joyous experience.
So it is my wish that you get to enjoy your “biological or adopted sort of-nuclear family”. Say “hi” to your biological parents who put you up for adoption, or your adoptive parents who saved you from you biological parents. If you weren’t lucky or unlucky enough to have either then say “hi” to your foster home, or call the orphanage.
Of course if you are going to be with your crazy, dysfunctional, neurotic mom, dad sister and brother you can always say nothing and smile a lot.
You may also be some kind of freak – Two parents who get along, healthy, successful siblings and a dog name spot that is 96 years old in dog years. Mom, dad, sister, brother, in-laws, all happy and well behaved. Like Ozzie and Harriet or Leave it to Beaver….or the Cosby family. Lucky you.
Whatever you were given know that someone somewhere loves you.
If you need a family therapist let me know. I have a few that I have worked with that are taking clients in the New Year.
….As for Nelson Mandela. I think he is watching his family from heaven. I think I just heard his voice.
He said “oy”.
This funny blog is dedicated to my sweet sister “Lily Roslyn Harrison Ehrlich who passed away this past August 13. We fought over the Turkey’s ass every Thanksgiving and cared deeply for each other. I miss her!
Lewis Harrison is the founder and director of the Harrison Center for Personal Development. He is a radio talk show host, speaker, consultant, practical philosopher and Contemporary Spiritual Teacher. Lewis is a pioneer in the personal development movement The author of nine self help books on human potential he offers a monthly retreat/seminar “How to Solve Any Problem”. He also and phone based coaching. This blog is explored more fully through Lewis’ Kindle E-book “Healing Depression Naturally”.
Listen to Lewis on the radio on his show “That Was Zen, This is Tao” every Wednesday and Thursday 4-6 PM
Lewis is the creator of the “Free Advanced Course in Personal Development”
Learn more about the course at – www.HowToSolveAnyProblem.com