The focus of this blog is To explore, and learn to apply wordless messages as a tool for the creation of love, wealth, freedom and greater influence.
This is extract of a class I taught on problem solving and the illusion of time.
STUDENT: What is the history of nonverbal communication as an academic discipline?
LEWIS: It is generally accepted that the first scientific study of nonverbal communication was The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872), a book by Charles Darwin. Darwin proposed that emotions could in fact be reliably communicated in facial expressions by these creatures. For close to a hundred years, most researchers on nonverbal communication struggled with the idea that most definitions concerning this type of communication were based on arbitrary symbols.
STUDENT: Why was this a problem?
LEWIS: That would mean that the meaning of such symbols differed from culture to culture.
STUDENT: How has this changed?
LEWIS: Paul Ekman conducted influential studies in the 1960s that determined that expressions of fear, anger, sadness, disgust, joy, sadness, and surprise are universal. With Ekman’s reach, it became clear that a large percentage of facial expressions are to some extent iconic, and thus universally understood.
STUDENT: I understand that human beings do not communicate by words alone. Yet our bodies are regulated through the nervous system, and also by the sophistication of our communication skills. Speak further about nonverbal communication skills from this perspective.
LEWIS: Nonverbal communication can occur through any sensory channel — sight, sound, smell, touch or taste, and transcend words. Nonverbal communication may also include body language; posture, facial expression, voice tone, eye movements and eye contact, gestures, touch, (Haptic communication) and other subtle factors. All these communication cues determine how we interact with other people. In addition, our programming will determine the reality we choose to create and the boundaries we accept, either consciously or unconsciously.
STUDENT: You mentioned other subtle factors of nonverbal communication. What would be examples of this?
LEWIS: People also use objects or artifacts to communicate nonverbally, including hairstyles, architecture, symbols, and clothing. There are also many nonverbal elements within speech. This is commonly known as paralanguage, and may include elements such as pitch, voice quality, volume, rate, and speaking style, as well as prosodic features such as stress of voice, rhythm, and intonation.
STUDENT: If body language and posture are forms of nonverbal communication, where would dance fit into this conversation?
LEWIS: Dance is definitively a form of nonverbal communication, and one of the most universally understood and expressed.
STUDENT: How about writing, sign language, or painting?
LEWIS: Yes these are considered verbal communication. All written texts have nonverbal elements, such as the physical layout of a page, handwriting style, and the spatial arrangement of words. However, those elements of writing, or any other form of communication that do deal with words would be considered verbal communication.
STUDENT: How about an art form such as painting?
LEWIS: In painting there is the physical layout of a work, the painting style, the spatial arrangement of the elements in the work, and the tools used to create the work.
STUDENT: There is so much here to learn. Where can one begin?
LEWIS: When studying nonverbal communication, it is usually easiest to explore and learn about face-to-face interaction.
STUDENT: How would one do this?
LEWIS: Nonverbal communication through face-to-face interaction is generally classified into three primary areas:
1. Environmental conditions where the communication takes place.
2. The physical characteristics of the communicators.
3. The behaviors of the communicators during interaction.
STUDENT: Why these three?
LEWIS: Because they utilize the primary elements in communication – neurology, understanding, and programming.
STUDENT: This seems very complex and very systematic.
LEWIS: It is very systematic, but this also makes it easier to understand. Look, there are many different systems utilizing this triad of neurology, understanding, and programming. Among the most influential in my own studies and teachings are the writings of Milton Erickson, a pioneering psychiatrist in the field of trance work, hypnosis, and influence. What made Dr. Erickson’s work unique was his mastery of rapport. He developed the ability to enter the worldview of his patients, and from that vantage point, having established rapport, was able to make extremely effective interventions that influenced his patients to overcome many phobias and assorted life problems. Most masters of influence now know that it is much easier to influence an individual or group if you can create rapport with them. It is rapport that facilitates change through influence.
STUDENT: What is the specific definition of rapport?
LEWIS: Rapport is a harmonious communication or relationship between two or more living creatures. Rapport is generally characterized by empathy, affinity, and mutual understanding.
STUDENT: Are we always conscious that rapport is present?
LEWIS: No. Rapport is one of the most important features or characteristics of subconscious communication. It is a commonality of perspective; being “in sync” with, or being “on the same wavelength” as the person with whom you are talking.
STUDENT: Can one consciously build rapport with another?
LEWIS: Yes. There are a number of techniques that are supposed to be beneficial in building rapport such as matching your body language (i.e., posture, gesture, etc.); maintaining eye contact; and matching breathing rhythm. Some of these techniques are explored in the Conversation on neuro-linguistic programming.
To explore these concepts in greater detail see the Conversation on Change, the Conversation on Understanding Systems of Greater Complexity, and the entry on Milton Erickson in the Level: Standing on the Shoulders of Giants.
STUDENT: Is whistling, grunting, or “scat” singing, as might be found in some forms of jazz, considered verbal communication?
LEWIS: They might be in common language, but definitely not in specialized language. (See the Conversation on Specialized Language) Among scholars and academics dealing with various forms of communication, the term “verbal” relates directly and specifically with spoken words. The vocal sounds you have spoken of in your question are nonverbal.
STUDENT: I have heard it said that the eyes are the doorway to the soul. Can you discuss eye gaze as a form of nonverbal communication?
LEWIS: The study of the role of eyes in nonverbal communication is sometimes referred to as “oculesics.” Eye contact can indicate interest, attention, and involvement. Studies have found that people use their eyes to indicate their interest with more than the frequently recognized actions of winking, and slight movement of the eyebrows. Eye contact is an event when two people look at each other’s eyes at the same time. It is a form of nonverbal communication and has a large influence on social behavior. Frequency and interpretation of eye contact vary between cultures and species. Eye aversion is the avoidance of eye contact. Eye contact and facial expressions provide important social and emotional information. People, perhaps without consciously doing so, probe each other’s eyes and faces for positive or negative mood signs.
Gaze comprises the actions of looking while talking, looking while listening, amount of gaze and frequency of glances, patterns of fixation, pupil dilation, and blink rate.
STUDENT: Please discuss nonverbal cues of the voice.
LEWIS: This is known as Paralanguage. (sometimes called vocalics) It’s the study of nonverbal cues of the voice. Various acoustic properties of speech such as tone, pitch, and accent, collectively known as prosody, can all give off nonverbal cues. Paralanguage may change the meaning of words.
- The voice set is the context in which the speaker is speaking. This can include the situation, gender, mood, age, and a person’s culture.
- The voice qualities are volume, pitch, tempo, rhythm, articulation, resonance, nasality, and accent. They give each individual a unique “voice print.”
- Vocalization consists of three subsections; characterizers, qualifiers, and segregates. Characterizers are emotions expressed while speaking, such as laughing, crying, and yawning. A voice qualifier is the style of delivering a message – for example, yelling “Hey stop that!” as opposed to whispering, “Hey stop that.” Vocal segregates such as “uh-huh” notify the speaker that the listener is listening.
STUDENT: What are your closing thoughts on the concept of nonverbal communication?
LEWIS: Communication, especially distinctions in how we hear or listen, has many subtle elements. When we listen, (or speak) we naturally focus our conscious attention on words, rather than body language. However, our subconscious absorbs and responds to both verbal and nonverbal signals.
STUDENT: Can one easily distinguish positive forms of nonverbal communication from negative forms?
LEWIS: Nonverbal forms of communication are not usually positive or negative in and of themselves; the perspective of the observer, the message being delivered, and the situation at hand will determine the appraisal.
STUDENT: Is there still much research being conducted on nonverbal communication?
STUDENT: What are the specific characteristics that define a type of communication as nonverbal?
1. Nonverbal cues are culture bound.
2. Nonverbal messages primarily communicate attitudes and emotions.
3. Nonverbal cues substitute for, contradict, emphasize, or regulate verbal messages.
4. Nonverbal cues are continuous.
5. Nonverbal cues are more reliable.
6. Nonverbal cues are often ambiguous.
STUDENT: Speak about clothing as an element of nonverbal communication.
LEWIS: There are many different levels of communication that are reflected from clothing, including cultural and social interests. One of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication related to clothing is a uniform. All clothing has both a functional and a communicative purpose, but this is even more so with a uniform. When a person is in uniform, they can identify gender, position, influence, rank and function. All of these can be clarified even more if the uniform contains a badge and a social insignia.
STUDENT: Speak on bodily characteristics as an element of nonverbal communication.
LEWIS: Elements such as physique, height, weight, skin, and hair can also convey nonverbal information. There are certain bodily characteristics that change their meaning depending on the interaction and qualities of those involved in the communication. These factors include skin color, ethnic background, national origin, gender, odors, and clothing. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between how a person dresses and their interest in courtship.
STUDENT: What is the connection between nonverbal communication and financial success?
LEWIS: Nonverbal communication affects us on every level of living, including financial success.
STUDENT: What are your final thoughts on this conversation on nonverbal communication?
LEWIS: Nonverbal communication is often much more impactful than verbal communication.
The more one can understand body posture, the perception of time, and our relationship to space the more effective our communication will be.
STUDENT: If a person has the use of language, why does nonverbal communication even exist?
LEWIS: There are many theories on this point. One theory states that spoken language is most effective as a tool for communicating information about events external to the speakers. Nonverbal cues and codes are more effective for creating and maintaining interpersonal relationships. This brings into play the concept of social intelligence. In many situations, it is considered appropriate – more polite – to communicate attitudes towards others nonverbally, rather than verbally.